So Not Fair
by Princess Schatje Dreamer
Summary: Zack's punishment is unusually cruel and unjust. Sephiroth should have expected this, he really should have... Rated for minor swearing, and general insanity/inanity. Part 3 in the Battle of Wits. Written for Momonster, because she deserves it.


Okay. He could do this. He could do this! Cracking his neck and extending his arms out to stretch his hands, Zack settled down to - _finally_ - submit his already written out reports, electronically.

He could do this. He could.

... Mebbe..

_"Your punishment today is to do all of the reports assigned to you. No outside help allowed." Mako green eyes pinned the bouncy First in place, then the man turned without another word. _

_Zack gulped. _'He doesn't even need to add on the _"or else"..._'

Shaking his head to rid himself of the evil flashback, Zack sighed. "Shouldn't have blown up that bus with Reno. I really shouldn't have. But meh, it was _pretty_ and so totally worth it..."

_"Everyone can use a computer, Zackary. It is not that hard. What is that colloquial saying, 'it's not like it's Mako Science'?" _

"Stupid voices and stupid Sephy and his stupid dismissal of the evilness that technology _is_... whatever. I need to do this. I can do this. Yes, yes I can. Why, cause I'm made of awesome~"

Cick, click. Tappity-click-clack-taptapity-tapclick-click-clack-taptap-tap-tap-cli-

**BEEP!**

A blink. A sigh.

_"Invalid command?_ What the _bejezus_? Arg, yea, Ok, whatever." A single finger hovered over the keys.

'Click'

And so, Zackary Fair set about doing the one thing that he should have kept far far away from. He tried to use technology.

* * *

"No! Nononononono!" A voice cried out as it's owner threw his hands up into the air ."No! What are you _doing?_ What have you done? No! NO! Bad computer, _baaaaaaaaaaad!_ Stop, stopstopstop, what are you **doing**?"

Many of the people who were passing by in the hall was shooting the occasional odd look through the open door that the rather hysterical voice flying through the air, but upon seeing that it was the Puppy Lieutenant, they just continued on their way. Whatever he was up to, whatever trouble he was getting into; they wanted no part of it.

Such things were rather detrimental to continued health and sanity...

* * *

'This, is _so _not cool." Zack could feel his pout getting bigger, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault that technological things were _illogical _and that naming it as something technological was completely misleading! It should be techno_illogical_ appara- ... machinat- gadgidits... Thingamabobs.

Or something.

Just... He sighed and growled, fighting the urge to strangle the computer. Violently. '_Stupid technology. I hate you_.'

He picked up the stick he kept in his office as a reminder of his late Mentor - _'Now Puppy, I got you a present.' 'Really? __***bounceybouncebounce***__' '*pulls out stick*' '...' 'It's so that we can play fetch. *lips twitch just slightly*' '...'_ – and with said stick equipped, poked the Device of Doom and Destruction.

"Tsh, Stupid Computer..."

He sighed and sat back on his chair, staring at his arch nemesis. He was just somewhat relieved that no one had yet to see him, or if they had, hadn't made a big deal out of it. God forbid that _Tseng_ came in and saw him like this, fighting to the death with an inanimate object. Damned man was gifted - magical, amazing! He just... technology obeyed the man, like damn near everything and one else.

Except Reno, but then again Reno never really followed anyone but his own mental shiny's and -

Zack facepalmed.

_'Forget Tseng, I'm just glad that Reno hasn't come in... Sooo don't need him to have this to hold over me... Its not like he needs more blackmail_...'

"Ahem." A jolt worse than a Bolt3 spell shot up Zack's spine.

"Eeep!" **THUD.** "Owww..." Rubbing his side from where he fell, Zack peaked over the desk at who had startled him and made him sque- _Who had awesome ninja skills!_ Yea, _those_ - at the individual standing in the doorway.

And at the sight, the Puppy sighed.

"Ah crap. I forgot the worst of them all..."

* * *

Sephiroth felt a faint stirring of amusement, watching Zack's guilty gaze - guilty because he had been staring at the computer without doing anything, perhaps? - and the rather sulky set to his lips. The Puppy Lieutenant in full pouting mode.

"Now that I have your attention, can you provide me with a status report on your work today?"

... A shuffle to the right. The pout deepened, and Zack's eyes seemed to grow brighter.

Sephiroth felt his eyes narrow. The damned puppy-man _had _done the work, right?

"Zack." Said man seemed to shake.

"...Ehehe?" Zack seemed to ooze closer to the floor, hiding more of his face.

Sephiroth just stared at him. Zack let out a sigh, and then started scratching the back of his head.

"Uh -well, its kinda." He sighed. "Hey! It's not my fault! The damned evil contraption of doom and death wouldn't accept it when I tried to save the damned files. And this was after the never ending alerts about an invalid command - what is a invalid command, and why would you have it anyway? Why doesn't it just tell me about how to make _a valid command?_ You know, one that works? What is the point of telling you something doesn't work? Why not just have it _not work_ huh? Instead of beeping in my face and flashing the invalid crap- And then, and _then _it goes on to tell me that -"

"Zack." Sephiroth was staring at the screen, an interesting glint in his eyes.

"What?" Zack sulked. He hated that voice...

Sephiroth sighed lightly, more amused than he cared to admit. "Zack, you need to do this to save it."

Zack watched as Sephiroth took hold of the mouse and dragged it over to a little picture thingy. Click.

Tappity-clickity-tap, a quick click of the pop-up ok/cancel box, and Sephiroth moved away.

"..."

"...?"

"... That's it?"

Sephiroth nodded once, watching Zack, not bothering to hide the curling of his lips.

"…I just needed to click on the floper thingy?" Sephiroth didn't get a chance to respond as Zack started up again.

"I lost the report _three times _when all I had to do was click on the floppermabober!"

"You could have also pressed Control and the 'S' key simultaneously." Zack felt his mouth drop open.

"_What!" _Sephiroth raised a hand, and with two fingers pressed 'CTRL' + 'S'. Zack watched in wonder as a bar appeared, telling them the document had been saved.

"_That_, right there, is _so. Not. __**Fair**_!"

* * *

AN - Disclaimer: If I owned FFVII, I'd give Mo the boys. They would honestly end up preffering Hojo. *sighs* If only they were conscious enough to realise how lucky they are...

Mo: *cackles madly*

Right, well, Mo and I were talking, and then this plunny - and a few others - came up and bit me. Mainly cause I am useless when it comes to technology. Completely and utterly useless, and all computers seem to hate me with a passion...

Mo: it is so very true, it's not funny…I have, many times, walked her through something on the computer…and we're half an earth away… ]:)

Perfect example just happened. You know those scene divider thingys? Yea, well, my cool symbol thingy wasn't working. I was kinda paniking, yanno, just a little. Mo's like 'why don't you do the line?' '... O.o' 'oh right, its you. You do this this this.'

-.-"

So yes, the battle of wits continue, with various appliances of Doom making star appearances.

Most, if not all, will be based on my own misfortunes with said appliances.

Oh, and I for one cannot wait until we have the big fight-out with technology. I get to kill them all~

Mo: *snorts helplessly, clutching her Ipod close* no killing my pretty. None.

Its dead if it ever fights back. I don't care. Its dying.


End file.
